According to a recent article in the Aspen Times, anxiety is widespread in the Roaring Fork Valley.  This I believe, as I am one of the anxious.  In fact, the Aspen lifestyle has me on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

I find it difficult to rise from bed each day, pull back the curtains and see the sun’s gentle rays warming the highest peaks.  The beauty is disturbing.  Stepping outside, the clean Rocky Mountain air brings about a feeling of nausea.  My body needs the airborne toxins to which it has become accustom.  Going without brings on symptoms of withdrawal.

Riding my bike into town, I’m disgusted by the sight of a snow-streaked monstrosity in the distance, Mt. Sopris.  To my left, another earthly blemish, Independence Pass.  Simply disgusting.

At the coffee shop, I am overwhelmed by kindness.  People actually stop to say hello, ask me how I am doing.  These people smile.  They laugh. Where do these people come from?  What is their problem?  The ridiculousness of such humanity makes my head spin.

Once at work, the real torture begins.  Life in the hospitality industry can be unbearable.  Serving the ultra-wealthy is tremendously taxing.  What if someone isn’t happy with their condo?  What if their bed is too hard and they can’t sleep?  What if their high speed internet doesn’t work and they can’t email the corporate office?  It’s enough to make me contemplate the barrel of a .45 Magnum.

Leaving work, I walk the streets fearing that I will bump into a friend that may try to coerce me into a bar for drinks.  Or worse, dinner and drinks.

At night I lay in bed, a cool summer breeze blowing through the windows, worrying that one of the three mosquitoes in Aspen with West Nile Virus will slip through my screen and bite me, and from this bite I will grow sick, suffer and die.

If I am lucky I will someday leave this majestic utopia for a place where my worries are insignificant in comparison to those of the local population.  A place where crime, poverty, sickness and death run rampant.  In such a place, I may just find peace.