“I hear he’s at a fat farm,” said a top Pitkin County official this week on Main Street. “He was having some health problems and he had to lose some weight.”
That was the unofficial word conveyed unofficially about Pitkin County Sheriff Bob Braudis, who has been unable to perform his duties for the better part of a month, an absence that has gone completely unexplained in local newspapers until the Aspen Times finally jumped on the story in Friday’s paper some eight days after Aspen Post broke the news of the Sheriff’s disappearance June 29, 2006. The Aspen Daily News, notoriously pro-Braudis, has yet to weigh in on the Sheriff of Pitkin County’s skedaddle.
Aspen Post also remarked July 2, 2006, upon the Sheriff’s preternatural ability to cancel July Fourth fireworks “from afar,” no mean trick when nobody seems to know where you are.
A top city official in Aspen was asked this week as to the whereabouts of the Sheriff and said: “I have no idea where he is. It’s odd.”
Asked whether the Sheriff of Pitkin County should have notified the city as to his whereabouts, the official said: “It’s odd. Very odd.”
The Times story Friday took the Slim-Fast position that the whole thing is some kind of wonderful.
“There could soon be a new sheriff in town,” according to the lead of the story in Times Past, “one who’s slimmer and healthier all around. That’s the word on Pitkin County Sheriff Bob Braudis, who’s been absent for several weeks.”
But there was no “word” per se from Braudis—no direct quote in the story. Instead Pitkin County Sheriff’s Office Director of Investigations Joe DiSalvo said Braudis had been “couch-ridden for weeks with undiagnosed bronchial pneumonia,” according to the paper, and that he would not be back in town for another week. Add up the time on the couch and the time out of town and the unmistakeable conclusion is Braudis has been down for the count since at least early June. On June 10, 2006, the Rocky Mountain News reported: “An illness kept Braudis from delivering opening remarks at last week’s annual confab of criminal defense lawyers enticed to Aspen by one of marijuana smoking’s biggest boosters – NORML, the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws.”
The “illness” in question that prevented the speech at the pro-marijuana rally could have been the “bronchial pneumonia” cited by DiSalvo.
The local paper said the Sheriff is exercising more and has “taken up holistic techniques, meditation, yoga and Pilates.” The paper also said he is suffering from high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
The story in the Times concludes: “Braudis asked that his privacy be respected and said he has had a difficult year in which several close friends have died. He also noted that he has taken monthlong vacations in the past and has a great deal of confidence in how his longtime staff runs the department.”
The Sheriff’s request goes without attribution or a direct quote. Who did Braudis ask to respect his privacy? And does an elected official have the right to leave town during high season without explanation for an unspecified period of time in an election year?
The Times, compliant as ever, also fails to mention that one of those friends of the Sheriff is the late Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, who committed suicide. This is also the first indication that Sheriff Braudis is technically on “vacation” rather than an unspecified medical leave.
The top Pitkin County official cited above thinks the Sheriff of Pitkin County is somewhere in Arizona at “the fat farm.” But even his information is second-hand. For the record, the whereabouts of Sheriff Bob Braudis are still unknown.
If you’re such an Aspen insider, maybe you should tell us where Braudis is instead of just ask the same question repeatedly. Maybe no one will tell you because they know you’re such a blow hard.
Anyway, here’s my attempt at being a blogger.
“I’m Michael Conniff. Did you read my blog on aspenpost.net? I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. Did you read my blog? Hey, everybody! Look at me! I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. Did you listen to Con Games? Did you? Did you? Did you? My dad won a Pulitzer. Did I tell you that? I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I went to Harvard. I went to Harvard. I went to Harvard. I went to Harvard. Did you listen to Con Games today? Did you? Did you? Did you? You know, I’m relavant. Very relevant. Did you read my blog? Did you? Did you? Did you read my blog? Hey, everybody! Look at me! I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff.. Did you listen to Con Games today on Smart Radio? Did you? Did you? Did you? My dad won a Pulitzer. Did I tell you that? I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m relevant. Very relevant. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. Did you listen to Con Games? Did you? Did you? Did you? My dad won a Pulitzer. Did I tell you that? I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I went to Harvard. I went to Harvard. I went to Harvard. I went to Harvard. Did you listen to Con Games today? Did you? Did you? Did you. You know, I’m relevant. Literally. Did you read my blog? Did you? Did you? Did you read my blog? Hey, everybody! Look at me! I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. Did you listen to Con Games today on Smart Radio? Did you? Did you? Did you? My dad won a Pulitzer. Did I tell you that? Did you read aspen.net today? Will you blog for me? Will you blog for me? I’m going to write a response to this blog. I can’t wait to hit the send button. I will be relevant. I am Michael Conniff.”
If you’re such an Aspen insider, maybe you should tell us where Braudis is instead of just ask the same question repeatedly. Maybe no one will tell you because they know you’re such a blow hard.
Anyway, here’s my attempt at being a blogger.
“I’m Michael Conniff. Did you read my blog on aspenpost.net? I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. Did you read my blog? Hey, everybody! Look at me! I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. Did you listen to Con Games? Did you? Did you? Did you? My dad won a Pulitzer. Did I tell you that? I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I went to Harvard. I went to Harvard. I went to Harvard. I went to Harvard. Did you listen to Con Games today? Did you? Did you? Did you? You know, I’m relavant. Very relevant. Did you read my blog? Did you? Did you? Did you read my blog? Hey, everybody! Look at me! I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff.. Did you listen to Con Games today on Smart Radio? Did you? Did you? Did you? My dad won a Pulitzer. Did I tell you that? I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m relevant. Very relevant. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. Did you listen to Con Games? Did you? Did you? Did you? My dad won a Pulitzer. Did I tell you that? I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I went to Harvard. I went to Harvard. I went to Harvard. I went to Harvard. Did you listen to Con Games today? Did you? Did you? Did you. You know, I’m relevant. Literally. Did you read my blog? Did you? Did you? Did you read my blog? Hey, everybody! Look at me! I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. I’m Michael Conniff. Did you listen to Con Games today on Smart Radio? Did you? Did you? Did you? My dad won a Pulitzer. Did I tell you that? Did you read aspen.net today? Will you blog for me? Will you blog for me? I’m going to write a response to this blog. I can’t wait to hit the send button. I will be relevant. I am Michael Conniff.”
I’m Michael Conniff. I try hard to be relevant on my radio show and on this blog but don’t always succeed.
You’re Gee Whiz, hiding behind a curtain of anonymity that renders you irrelevant. My guess is you know where Braudis might be but would prefer to protect his “privacy.”
I’m Michael Conniff. Look at me.
You’re Gee Whiz. We can’t look at you.
Gee: which one would you rather be?
I’m Michael Conniff. I try hard to be relevant on my radio show and on this blog but don’t always succeed.
You’re Gee Whiz, hiding behind a curtain of anonymity that renders you irrelevant. My guess is you know where Braudis might be but would prefer to protect his “privacy.”
I’m Michael Conniff. Look at me.
You’re Gee Whiz. We can’t look at you.
Gee: which one would you rather be?
I always find it interesting that when people can’t address the issue they attack the person instead. A page right from the left wing play book. Strange how they will use it against their own…I guess these types will eat their young, so beware.
While I may not agree with what “Mic” always has to say, at least he has the cajonas to say them and is willing to listen to the other side of the discussion.
The only other thing I have to say is to watch out Michael…the “Bob” coolaid drinkers don’t like you going after their boy…it could cramp their lifestyle here in “Aspenland.”
I always find it interesting that when people can’t address the issue they attack the person instead. A page right from the left wing play book. Strange how they will use it against their own…I guess these types will eat their young, so beware.
While I may not agree with what “Mic” always has to say, at least he has the cajonas to say them and is willing to listen to the other side of the discussion.
The only other thing I have to say is to watch out Michael…the “Bob” coolaid drinkers don’t like you going after their boy…it could cramp their lifestyle here in “Aspenland.”