I have a two-year old daughter who started talking several months ago. In that time, a few words have emerged as her favorites. Number one is the word “mine.” According to my daughter, everything is “mine,” even, of course, things that are not.
I’m guessing she learned this word at school. The “Mine Phenomenon” can be observed anytime two children play together amongst a pile of toys. Whatever toy the other child has is the one that your child wants, and vice versa. In short time, one child, the more brazen of the two, will horde more toys than they could possibly play with between naps. The object, I guess, is to lay claim to all the toys, leaving the other child with nothing.
Coming in second on her vocabulary shortlist is the word “no.” Often she combines her two favorites, as in “No, mine.” She says this anytime you pick up something of hers, and often when you pick something up that is not hers. My wallet, for example. Yesterday, I picked it up off the coffee table and slid it into my back pocket just before I left for work. Behind me I heard the sound of little footsteps stomping across the room.
“No, mine,” she said, tugging at my leg.
“What’s yours?” I asked.
“Mine, daddy, mine,” she said, reaching for my pocket.
I removed the wallet and showed it to her.
“This is Daddy’s wallet,” I explained. “It needs to come with me to work.”
“No, daddy! Mine!”
At that she crumbled to the ground in tears. Judging from her performance you’d think she’d just received news that Elmo died. She’s quite the dramatist.
Another disturbing favorite is a phrase she must have learned from her mother, “Buy it.” Armed with this phrase, our leisurely walks through town have turned into shopping extravaganzas. I don’t need a lesson on “will power” or “just saying no” from any super parents. I’ve heard it all before. “You need to draw the line,” they say. “Let your child know you’re the boss.”
The bottom line is this; it’s hard to say “no” to your two-year old daughter. There’s nothing more satisfying than putting a smile on her face, and one easy way to do this is to buy her whatever she wants. So when she sees someone walk out of Paradise Bakery with a cookie, turns to me and says, “Daddy, buy it,” well, I buy it.
What flashes nightmarish images of a lifetime working multiple jobs is when she sees a pair of expensive shoes or a kids jacket in the window of Ralph Lauren and says, “Daddy, buy it.” When this happens, and it’s happening more frequently as she gets older, I quickly divert her attention.
For example, I’ll say “Hey, look at the horsey.” This typically works, but when it doesn’t we get another Oscar caliber performance right there on the sidewalk.
So if you happen to see my daughter sprawled out on her back in tears, please have sympathy. It probably means I’ve just told her “no.”
Hi Keith, as always enjoyed your writing. I remember Cynthia at about the age of two, writhing on the gravel parking lot of a store screaming “you always hurt me”. (I as a true adherent of non violence had NEVER laid a violent hand on her ) When I tried to pick her up she started yelling “You’re not my Mommy”. A parental nightmare for sure, thank goodness there were no Child Protective Service people around.
Luckily, she is now the perfect teenager. She sowed her wild oats before the age of 10. So hang in there Keith, it just MAY get easier. Geraldine
Hi Keith, as always enjoyed your writing. I remember Cynthia at about the age of two, writhing on the gravel parking lot of a store screaming “you always hurt me”. (I as a true adherent of non violence had NEVER laid a violent hand on her ) When I tried to pick her up she started yelling “You’re not my Mommy”. A parental nightmare for sure, thank goodness there were no Child Protective Service people around.
Luckily, she is now the perfect teenager. She sowed her wild oats before the age of 10. So hang in there Keith, it just MAY get easier. Geraldine
Oh, my dear son!!!! Your anxiety for the public display made by your toddler is duly noted!!! I believe that most folk reconcile that they have been there and done that…most with great empathy….Get ready to put on your “tough skin” for the more vocal years of 13-16!!! And with two girls, oh dear……………..I love reading your pieces, esp. when they are about my granddaughters…Keep up the good (no great) work……Miss you all.
Oh, my dear son!!!! Your anxiety for the public display made by your toddler is duly noted!!! I believe that most folk reconcile that they have been there and done that…most with great empathy….Get ready to put on your “tough skin” for the more vocal years of 13-16!!! And with two girls, oh dear……………..I love reading your pieces, esp. when they are about my granddaughters…Keep up the good (no great) work……Miss you all.
My daughter is a little angel and I’ve never heard the words “mine”, “no” or “buy it” from her lips. She still hasn’t learned how to talk yet… but that’s besides the point.
CHICKENHEAD Rules!
My daughter is a little angel and I’ve never heard the words “mine”, “no” or “buy it” from her lips. She still hasn’t learned how to talk yet… but that’s besides the point.
CHICKENHEAD Rules!
chickenhead, Pretty sure I know who your “beautiful ” little angel is and trust me when I say that she too will one day in the most public of places leave you speechless (well, at least once in her toddlerhood)! AND, she will still & always be your little angel!!! Love to all
chickenhead, Pretty sure I know who your “beautiful ” little angel is and trust me when I say that she too will one day in the most public of places leave you speechless (well, at least once in her toddlerhood)! AND, she will still & always be your little angel!!! Love to all