Suck It, Pinons


As you age, you come to realize that your time with some of your childhood friends is limited to a few short moments over the span of many years. You move away from home. You begin a career. Start a family. Life becomes complicated, and as your days pass you find that quality time with these friends comes around all to infrequently.

I am currently enjoying one of these rare moments.  My best friend, a high school classmate and college roommate, and his wife are visiting Aspen for the holidays. Since college, our time together has been limited. On average, we may see each other every other year, and now we both have young children, which makes getting together all the more difficult.

It’s not as easy to be spontaneous these days, so prior to my friend’s arrival we planned a night out. We set a date. We found babysitters. We considered our options and finally, we made dinner reservations. The night was set.

What we were doing, in essence, was claiming a piece of time for ourselves, a moment that we could enjoy with each other, with our wives.

Regrettably, we chose to spend our time at Pinons.

We were seated with our fiends who had arrived a few minutes earlier and immediately slapped with menus. It seemed that before we had time to say hello we were harassed for our order.

“We need a few more minutes,” I said.

“Well, sir,” the waitress said. “You were a little late and so we need to get your order to the kitchen soon.”

“Okay,” I responded, somewhat stunned that we were on a timer.

This hurried service continued throughout the meal. The bus staff was hovering like vultures well before we were finished.

“How are you doing?” they’d ask. “All done, yet?”

I have my fork and knife in hand and am still cutting my New Zealand Elk. Do I look like I’m finished?

It wasn’t like we were loitering. We were ordering all courses and doing so expeditiously: beers, wine, appetizers, entrées, dessert, and more beers. Our bill was nearly $400, but we still received the hurried service.

I understand that a restaurant’s financial health depends on turnover, but fuck, this was ridiculous. The final straw came when a manager leaned over our table and said, “Our 7:30 reservation just arrived and is waiting by the door.” With that, he stepped back and smiled, waiting for us to stand. My wife was still eating her dessert.

It was all I could do to keep from throwing that inconsiderate prick across the table. I’m not sure who is preaching the “churn and burn” philosophy or putting the pressure on Pinons employees to feed ‘em fast and move ‘em out, but whoever you are, fuck you. Fuck you and your pretentious bullshit restaurant.

That being said, I’d like to give a shout out to the Pinons chefs. The food was excellent! And to the understanding busboy who said, “sorry you were hurried out.” Thank you for recognizing our frustration.

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Posted in: Aspen, Pitkin County, Restaurants

12 Responses to Suck It, Pinons

  1. avidreader says:

    Always remember that $$$$$$$$$ does not always equal class………or manners. High end doesn’t mean high class, get my drift?

  2. avidreader says:

    Always remember that $$$$$$$$$ does not always equal class………or manners. High end doesn’t mean high class, get my drift?

  3. Golly, Keith, tell us what you really feel.

    I’ve eaten at Pinion’s three times and always in the bar where the surface was warm, friendly, and unrushed. And the food was among the best I’ve ever had in Aspen.

    Here’s the way I think it should go. If you’re too late, you can lose your reservation or have to wait. Once they seat a customer, the service should be identical for all.

    Best, Michael!

  4. Golly, Keith, tell us what you really feel.

    I’ve eaten at Pinion’s three times and always in the bar where the surface was warm, friendly, and unrushed. And the food was among the best I’ve ever had in Aspen.

    Here’s the way I think it should go. If you’re too late, you can lose your reservation or have to wait. Once they seat a customer, the service should be identical for all.

    Best, Michael!

  5. alpha6 says:

    Keith, you are a better man then I am. I can’t stand and won’t put up with peoples crap, especially when I am paying for their services.

    I have eaten at Pinion’s twice now. One time everything went smooth, the second, I ordered the elk. The waiter asked how I would like it cooked. I said “medium well” to which the waiter responded, “Oh, I don’t think the chef will cook it like that, he prefers to cook it rare.” To which I answered to the shock of those eating with me, “Tell the chef that if it’s not cooked medium well, I will keep sending it back till it is. He can eat it raw for all I care, I like mine medium well and unless he is paying for this meal, that’s how I expect it.”

    After that, everything went smooth… Next time the manager comes by to hurry you along. Ignore him while casually mentioning to your wife so that he can overhear “man these are great steak knifes, I bet it wouldn’t take anything to cut out a mans heart with it.” Then turn to him with a grin and say, “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

  6. alpha6 says:

    Keith, you are a better man then I am. I can’t stand and won’t put up with peoples crap, especially when I am paying for their services.

    I have eaten at Pinion’s twice now. One time everything went smooth, the second, I ordered the elk. The waiter asked how I would like it cooked. I said “medium well” to which the waiter responded, “Oh, I don’t think the chef will cook it like that, he prefers to cook it rare.” To which I answered to the shock of those eating with me, “Tell the chef that if it’s not cooked medium well, I will keep sending it back till it is. He can eat it raw for all I care, I like mine medium well and unless he is paying for this meal, that’s how I expect it.”

    After that, everything went smooth… Next time the manager comes by to hurry you along. Ignore him while casually mentioning to your wife so that he can overhear “man these are great steak knifes, I bet it wouldn’t take anything to cut out a mans heart with it.” Then turn to him with a grin and say, “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

  7. Lost Sailor says:

    Sorry to hear about the bad experience. Good rule of thumb is not to go out to eat in aspen on christmas week.

  8. Lost Sailor says:

    Sorry to hear about the bad experience. Good rule of thumb is not to go out to eat in aspen on christmas week.

  9. Lost Sailor says:

    “beers, wine, appetizers, entrées, dessert, and more beers. ”

    …sounds like you guys got the ordering priorities right anyways…..

  10. Lost Sailor says:

    “beers, wine, appetizers, entrées, dessert, and more beers. ”

    …sounds like you guys got the ordering priorities right anyways…..

  11. chickenhead says:

    Keith – I couldn’t agree with you more. I recently had a very similar experience at Pinions. While the food was good, the service was sub-par (to say the least). As far as I’m concerned, there is no excuse for being treated the way Pinion’s staff & management treats their customers.

    Due to the fact that the majority of Aspen’s guests are repeat visitors, and as more & more people have a similar experience as ours, I’m guessing we’ll see a “For Rent” sign in the Pinion’s window in the not so distant future.

    Enjoy.
    CH

  12. chickenhead says:

    Keith – I couldn’t agree with you more. I recently had a very similar experience at Pinions. While the food was good, the service was sub-par (to say the least). As far as I’m concerned, there is no excuse for being treated the way Pinion’s staff & management treats their customers.

    Due to the fact that the majority of Aspen’s guests are repeat visitors, and as more & more people have a similar experience as ours, I’m guessing we’ll see a “For Rent” sign in the Pinion’s window in the not so distant future.

    Enjoy.
    CH

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