This week I screwed up as a father. I think I’ve been a darn good Daddy, excellent, in fact, but this is my first experience with a child and I suppose you’re bound to blow it at some point.
Over time, my wife and I have acquired an impressive collection of children’s movies. Barney Goes To The Zoo, Elmo’s Sing-A-Long, and The Wiggles Big Red Car just to name a few. For the most part, our collection is appropriate for infants and children under three years of age. I’ve never hesitated to grab a random video off the shelf on those occasions when my daughter wants nothing more than to watch a “D-B-B,” as she so sweetly says.
So I was a little surprised to find the movie “Monsters Inc.” had been added to our collection. It was sitting atop the television the other night, still in its wrapper, and having grown tired of all of the other videos I thought we’d give it a whirl. After all, how scary could it be? We’re talking Walt Disney Productions. They’ve been entertaining children for sixty years. If anyone knows what they are doing, it’s the folks at Disney, right? But, being the good Daddy I let my two-year-old decide for herself.
“Look, we have a new movie. Monsters, Inc.”
“I want to watch Wiggles, Daddy.”
“Oh, come on. How about Monsters, Inc.?”
“Okay, Daddy. Monsters, Inc.”
“Good choice.”
I kept a close eye on the movie as my wife and I went about our nightly chores – cooking, cleaning, laundry, folding, bill paying, more cleaning. There wasn’t anything about the movie that I would define as scary, so I figured my daughter would be fine. That being said, I’m 33. She’s two. Our definitions of scary may differ slightly. Age difference aside, my daughter seemed to be enjoying the movie and was even laughing at times.
“Monster’s are silly,” she’d say.
“Yeah, they’re really silly,” I’d assure her.
“Silly monsters.”
When the movie ended we went up to bed. That’s when I realized what I had done.
“Monsters under my bed, Daddy.”
“No. That’s silly. There are no monsters under your bed.”
“Yes, Daddy. They scare me.”
“Monsters are only pretend.”
As if she understood the concept of ‘pretend.’ But how else do you explain to a two-year-old that monsters don’t actually exist?
“Daddy, monsters in my closet.”
“There are no monsters in your room. They are only on TV. Just close your eyes. It’s very late. I will see you in the morning.”
At this point I attempted to walk out and close her door, but I didn’t get very far.
“Daddy, wait!”
“Yeah, sweetie?”
“I need socks. Monsters bite my feet.”
This went on and on for at least a half an hour. Every time I attempted to leave the room I’d hear, “Daddy, wait, me scared…Daddy, wait, sing me a song…Daddy, wait, sleep on the floor.” I put socks on her feet so the monsters would not nibble her toes and filled her crib with all of her favorite stuffed animals – orange tiger, mommy elephant, humpback whale, pink bear, etc. – assuring her there were no monsters in the room and that her animals would watch her through the night.
I finally made it out the door, tormented by quiet sobs that trailed off as I made my way downstairs. It’s been four nights since the viewing, but the monsters have yet to leave her room. Thanks to my blunder, I doubt they ever will.
Wow, Keith. Very nice. I truly, completely relate. I think we can get dumb-downed or even incognisient to what society and its changes can do to us, as adults, and even more so to our children.
My daughter just turned 8 last month. She must have been 6.5 or 7 when Monsters, Inc. hit the big screen. She hated it. I talked for weeks about how and why she didh’t like it. And I took her to Movieland to see it, for crying out out, because we thought it would be a great “KID” film. Wrong we were.
She didn’t have issues as your two year old did, frankly, because Payton is several years older.
Your post touches home, though, and I can truly relate. Propoganda exists, is alive, and manifests itself with anything that can make money for those who produce it.
I’ve been around the block a few times, and I scale things back as best I can because I have an off-spring whom I pray never sees the side of life I’ve seen. I don’t want to completely shelter her, and she knows, even now, of some things Daddy saw and did, but we have be Dads… and yes, I agree Monsters, Inc. was rated wrong. My daughter hated it, and your daughter had issues with it. Being parents is tougher than alot of what I’ve experienced. Life changes, society continues to change. I guess our workload is to figure out how to manage that continual change. — Jon
Wow, Keith. Very nice. I truly, completely relate. I think we can get dumb-downed or even incognisient to what society and its changes can do to us, as adults, and even more so to our children.
My daughter just turned 8 last month. She must have been 6.5 or 7 when Monsters, Inc. hit the big screen. She hated it. I talked for weeks about how and why she didh’t like it. And I took her to Movieland to see it, for crying out out, because we thought it would be a great “KID” film. Wrong we were.
She didn’t have issues as your two year old did, frankly, because Payton is several years older.
Your post touches home, though, and I can truly relate. Propoganda exists, is alive, and manifests itself with anything that can make money for those who produce it.
I’ve been around the block a few times, and I scale things back as best I can because I have an off-spring whom I pray never sees the side of life I’ve seen. I don’t want to completely shelter her, and she knows, even now, of some things Daddy saw and did, but we have be Dads… and yes, I agree Monsters, Inc. was rated wrong. My daughter hated it, and your daughter had issues with it. Being parents is tougher than alot of what I’ve experienced. Life changes, society continues to change. I guess our workload is to figure out how to manage that continual change. — Jon
Keith,
Try this, and I wish I could take credit for it, but alas, I must give it to “Major Payne” another movie.
When the kid complained about monsters in his closet, Major Payne emptied his .45 into it and said to the kid “if that monster is still in there he’s in a world of hurt now!”
One word of caution, make sure no pipes are running in the closet wall before taking this action. ; )
Oh, and don’t tell the wife till after…for some reason they always are against this solution…go figure.
Keith,
Try this, and I wish I could take credit for it, but alas, I must give it to “Major Payne” another movie.
When the kid complained about monsters in his closet, Major Payne emptied his .45 into it and said to the kid “if that monster is still in there he’s in a world of hurt now!”
One word of caution, make sure no pipes are running in the closet wall before taking this action. ; )
Oh, and don’t tell the wife till after…for some reason they always are against this solution…go figure.
That cracked me up Alpha. I have a decent stash of weaponry locked up in the safe out in shop. I use it for a variety of things, but never would I have thought to go Major Payne with any of it. That truly made me laugh. Thanks… J
That cracked me up Alpha. I have a decent stash of weaponry locked up in the safe out in shop. I use it for a variety of things, but never would I have thought to go Major Payne with any of it. That truly made me laugh. Thanks… J