According to a report in the Aspen Daily News, Police are asking citizens and business owners to “stay alert” after a string of burglaries in the Roaring Fork Valley.
The article quoted Basalt Police Sgt. Roderick O’Conner as saying, “If people see anything suspicious in an alley or behind a store, they need to let us know.”
Okay, but how does one determine that something or someone is, in fact, “suspicious”? For example, I would consider a raven with video surveillance equipment taped to its head “suspicious”, but my friend might consider it “cool”, or even “funny”. And does suspiciousness only occur in alleys and behind stores? What if I see a man in a Richard Nixon mask trying to open a safe with a stethoscope, but the safe is not located in an alley or behind a store? Would this simply be “odd”, as opposed to “suspicious” and, therefore, require no action on my part?
Frankly, the whole thing left me confused. If they are going to frighten us good citizens with news of lurking criminals, the Sergeant should have been a little more specific with his information. But since he was not, I took the matter into my own hands, asking for clarification from a police officer friend of mine. Fortunately, he provided a thorough explanation, which I, in turn, will pass on to you.
If you witness someone in an alley wearing a black leotard with a ski mask pulled over his face that would be “suspicious”, though contacting authorities at this point would be premature. If that person begins scaling a building with suction cups strapped to his arms and legs that would be considered “extremely suspicious” and authorities should be notified immediately. If, however, this person in black is walking aimlessly down the Cooper Avenue Mall, neighing like a horse, it may just be that the person ingested peyote on Halloween. In this case, it is not necessary to notify the authorities. This man is in the spirit world. Simply move out of his way so he does not vomit on you.
After speaking with my police officer friend, my confusion subsided. I now feel that I have a decent understanding of “what is” and “what is not” suspicious. If you still have doubts, do as I do when you encounter an activity of the suspicious sort — walk away and pretend you saw nothing. No need to be a hero. Heroes often get shot. And be forewarned, if you do choose to call the authorities, you’ll find yourself wrapped up in a lengthy criminal case. This could mean you’ll be sitting in a court room night after night, instead of reclined in your Lazy-boy watching Season IV of the “Family Guy” on DVD. Not to mention, if the person on trial is sent to the big house for life because of your finger pointing, he could break out and take revenge by killing you. It just isn’t worth it.