The Republican pretenders to the political throne in Colorado remind both wag and wonk of Abbott and Costello, one of the greatest tag teams in American comedic history.Unfortunately for nominees Ken Buck for Senator and Dick Maes for Governor, politics as per usual is no joke in the Rockies, though the pair has long been an embarrassment to regular old Republicans. I know this from Right here in Pitkin County because Righty party types have been bemoaning B&M from the moment it looked as though they might squeegee the Tea leaves hard enough to win their party’s nominations. The word “crazy” has been summoned up by local Republicans more than once—albeit before Buck and Maes won their amazin’ primary victories.
The problem for Republicans in Colorado and elsewhere is the party of no instantly became the party of nada in a general election. The same wacked-out ideas about wacking Social Security and government in general—so charming in a statewide primary—get you the nomination even as they render you headless in the general election. Before Sharon Angle emerged on the scene in Nevada, for example, it seemed as if Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid could not possibly win back his seat. When she won for the Tea Party in the Republican Primary, Angle turned a recumbent incumbent into a candidate who will be very hard to knock off his feet and onto his keister. For Reid, Angle is the gift from the Gods of conservatism that keeps on giving.
In Colorado and around the country, Republican Party regulars have gotten exactly what they deserved—mo’ nada—because they have nothing to offer beyond Tea Party platitudes repurposed from the vomitorium. When they embrace the Baggers—and post-W the Republicans really do need a hug—the Republican Party blesses screwball positions like a punchline they used to know.
The conservative politics of nada can’t help but throw back the curtain on a 14th Amendment birther position sure to alienate every voting Latina/Latino—not to mention the willingness of Republicans to fight like hell to extend tax cuts for the rich. Thanks to the Tea Party, the Republican Party has become a shell of its ownself, a comedy routine that never would have made it onto the stage in vaudeville.
You can’t make this up. Thanks to the conservative movement—a hashtag of Tea Baggers and Country Clubbers—no one has to. For a collection of miscreants so hilarious, there’s really nothing funny about it.