I recently returned from a trip to Africa. When you return from Africa people often ask, “So, how was Africa?” Most do so out of courtesy, and realizing this, my answers have typically been short. “Africa was amazing,” I’ll say. “Really?” they’ll say. “Yeah.” “Oh, I bet.” They... Read more →
The Haves And The About To Haves
Aspen is unique in that everyone is exceedingly wealthy, or is about to become so. For example, the guy who makes balloon animals on the weekends is about to become the richest man in New Zealand. It’s true. He told me so himself. First he needs to save up enough money to buy a plane ticket to Auckland,... Read more →
Majority of Nation’s Youth Believe Jesus was American
A recent study conducted by New Millennium Research, Inc., reported that 53 percent of U.S. high school students believe that Jesus Christ was an American. “Quite honestly I was shocked,” said John Waterhouse, Chief of the Juvenile Research Division. “Most multiple choice questions include what... Read more →
Keith Hemstreet Interviews The Dalai Lama
This weekend, the Aspen Institute welcomed the Dalai Lama as its keynote speaker for a symposium on Tibetan culture, art, science, and spiritualism. Keith Hemstreet caught up with His Holiness for a brief interview at the J-Bar. Keith enters, looking slightly frazzled. He spots the Dalai Lama who is... Read more →
Keith Hemstreet’s Conversation With God
I recently stepped into church, knelt down, and began to pray. You can imagine my surprise when someone responded. The one-act play below is a transcription of the conversation that followed. I must inform the reader, my memory is infallibly photographic. Therefore, the dialogue’s authenticity is guaranteed.... Read more →
Don’t Mind My Balls
My college roommate left me a voice mail yesterday morning. His message was short, simple and to the point. “Your balls are showing,” he whispered, and hung up. Those who are not in the know might consider this message to be cryptic, weird, and/or seriously demented. The truth is, it’s none... Read more →
Humbling The Egomaniacal Adolescent
When I was in sixth grade we took a field trip to the Lake Worth Community Pool. I had just purchased a new bathing suit for the occasion. A Quicksilver, checkerboard number that matched very nicely with my checkerboard shoes. I believe I even wore a checkerboard hat, which would have been logical. Every... Read more →
When Animals Attack
Last week it was reported that a gang of beavers flooded Highway 82. Most of us probably wrote this off as an unfortunate accident, but I’ve been told by a credible source that it was no accident at all. The beavers flooded our highway on purpose. “They really despise your highway system,” said... Read more →
An Evening With Hunter: Part II
The following is an excerpt from Keith Hemstreet’s novel-in-progress, tentatively titled “Owl Farm.” Click here to read “An Evening With Hunter: Part I” Hunter made another attempt to control the television with one of the remotes. “Put that thing away,” Justin said. “You’re... Read more →
An Evening With Hunter: Part I
The following is an excerpt from Keith Hemstreet’s novel-in-progress, tentatively titled “Owl Farm.” I met Hunter S. Thompson on a cold April night in 2004. The moon was full, though muted, shining as a flashlight would through dense fog as we drove the long winding road, navigating... Read more →