Here’s what I know about mistletoe after two seconds’ research on Wikipedia: it’s a plant that grows “attached to and within the branches of a tree or shrub.” To prove the point, the article included a picture of a “hemi-parasitic” European strain of the plant... Read more →
I’m With Stupid: Giving New Meaning to the Words ‘Food Fight’
I’ve noticed a bit of a disturbing trend recently, and I’m wondering if any of you have, too. Ever since Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly famously called pepper spray a “food product, essentially” in the wake of the pepper-spraying incident at UC Davis, people have apparently decided... Read more →
I’m With Stupid: Rams, Touching Rams, Reaching Out, Touching Ewes
Dudes, I seriously just almost got into a fight with a herd of bighorn sheep. Seriously. It was freaking awesome. I mean, I’m glad it didn’t come to blows and all. They would have butted the crap out of me and my car, I’m sure, but it was pretty sweet messing with them anyway. I just... Read more →
I’m With Stupid: Let’s All Just Stop Being Such Whimpering Brats
Sometimes, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to shut the hell up, stop occupying everywhere and tea partying everything, stop waving our guns and religion and crying about who gets taxed what, stop blaming terrorists, politicians, climate change, bankers, socialists and everyone who... Read more →
I’m With Stupid: Delicious Meals to Complement Your Meth Habit
I don’t know who nominates people for Memphis’ local Emmy awards, but whoever it is needs to nominate a video I just saw in the “investigative report” category. That’s how insightful and important this piece of journalism was. I’d personally nominate it for a Pulitzer... Read more →
I’m With Stupid: Earth’s Continued Existence Foils My Future Plans
So, are you guys still alive? Yeah, me too. I have to say, I’m a little surprised. I thought for sure Harold Camping was going to be right this time. I mean, I didn’t believe him when he said the world was going to end back in 1994, and I thought he was nuts when he claimed the rapture was... Read more →
I’m With Stupid: A Perfectly Petrifying Prefix for Flakes and Nuts
I’m not going to lie to you people: not this week, anyway. I’m scared. And I don’t mean “please don’t let it turn blue” anxiety, although that is certainly frightening. I mean that I am in mortal fear for my very life. Just like crop circles, mysterious but unmistakable,... Read more →
I’m With Stupid: If You Don’t Laugh at This You Could Die
I find myself in a bit of an ironic situation this week. On the one hand, I have the pleasure of reporting that it turns out laughter really is the best medicine for you. On the other hand, I am fully aware of the pressure that puts on an opinion column such as this one that likes to consider itself... Read more →
I’m With Stupid: Go Ahead, He Probably Won’t Even Know It’s Gone
Imagine going into a hospital for a circumcision at the age of 60-something like Phillip Seaton, a truck driver from Kentucky, did back in 2007. That’d be a little weird, wouldn’t it? After six decades with your little friend, he’d suddenly be getting a new face, you’d probably... Read more →